It is normal to miss out on most of our life. The brain is well equipped to filter out extraneous stimulus so we can focus on what is important. But what happens when that filter blocks out something important? How will you know what you are missing?

I had a fabulous opportunity to hear John Kabat-Zin, author of Wherever You Go, There You Are, speak at a Susan G. Komen fundraiser. He shared some very powerful concepts about the power the mind has over the body, specifically about using meditation to support both healing and dying. I’m sure it was very enlightening, or would have been if I had been able to focus on it. As it was, I spent the last half in stunned contemplation following a participative demonstration.

The audience, of about 1200, was asked to watch a three-minute video of six people passing a basketball back and forth. We were asked to count the number of times the basketball was passed from one of the three people wearing white shirts. A sense of Olympic competition filled the auditorium as we watched the video twice and came up with a wide variety of answers. Then John asked us to stop counting and just watch the video one more time. To our total amazement, a person in a gorilla suit strolls into the center of the screen, turns and faces the audience and does a little jig, and then walks out. Of the 1200 people, only two saw the gorilla in the first two viewings of the video clip. We are all so focused on counting basketballs that we missed the six-foot gorilla right in front! In the world of psychology, this is an example of what has been called inattentional blindness. For the rest of us, it’s about being so focused on our own goals that we miss what is going on around us, even down to the blatantly obvious.

Since this event, I have begun to wonder what I am missing out on while moving through life under the momentum of my own agenda. I encourage you to give this some thought for your own life. What wonderful opportunities are laid at our feet that we don’t even see? Who may be hurting right next to us that we don’t respond to? What source of joy is going unexplored? What messages unheard? What fabulous (or dangerous) gorilla is right under our nose!

So how do we become more mindful of what is going around us? I believe that each of us has to seek our own unique intersection between focused attention and open awareness. Some of the more enlightened find it by living completely in the Now. Some discover it in meditation or while lying on a Caribbean beach. Still others postpone their mindfulness until tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. What gifts would mindfulness bring to you? If you stopped searching, what would you find?

Top 10 tips for finding gorillas in your midst:

1. Be fully present in your action of the moment. Practice focusing your attention on the very thing you are doing at that moment. Try to engage all five senses, even on the simplest actions. Brushing your teeth with total awareness is a great way to experiment with this!
2. Don’t multi-task in a single-moment. We think we’re getting more done by doing two things at once, but we’re actually accomplishing less on both. Avoid doing email during a conference call. Don’t talk on a cell phone while taking your child for a walk. Be open to all that is there in this single point in time.
3. Listen deeply when others speak. Focus your attention on what they’re saying, not what you are getting ready to say. Many wars (and a few divorces) could be avoided this way.
4. Stop and breathe when you are too busy to stop and breathe. Besides creating a space for mindfulness, your own answers have a chance to come through when you do this. Awareness needs oxygen.
5. Break your own patterns. Take a different route to work, wear your watch on the opposite arm, read email last instead of first, listen instead of speak, wear something out of character. By breaking away from the known, your mind has a chance to forge new patterns and become open to things not previously seen.
6. Take off your perception blinders. When you find yourself making a strong judgment of a person or situation, take a moment to ask yourself, “What am I missing by seeing them/it this way?” Your judgment may not change but your awareness of the entire person or situation will expand, letting a bigger picture come through.
7. Fix the frenzy in your life. Frenzy and mindfulness cannot exist in the same space. Don’t allow yourself to see frenzy as a necessary solution to any situation.
8. Set a “gorilla intention” for yourself for a week. Each morning before rising, tell yourself, “Today I will be open to see something I have been missing.” Don’t laugh – it works.
9. Try this simple meditation: sit quietly and breath normally. Clear your mind of its busyness and observe yourself breathing. Count each out-breath. When a thought other than breathing comes in, wave it away with compassion and start again with 1. When you get to 10 without a thinking interruption (this took me weeks of practice), congratulate yourself and go on with your day from this better place.
10. Allow yourself to be led by a power greater than self. To surrender is to succeed. Information boundaries take time to develop and implement.

Mindfulness is an ongoing practice, not something to pass or fail. Watch as the gorillas gradually come out of your midst, showing you what you’ve been missing out on!

Resources

This is the “gorilla” video created by Daniel Simons & Christopher Chabris. Count how many times the ball is passed to someone wearing a white shirt. Then watch it again without counting.

For more information on inattentional blindness, read "Inattentional Blindness" and Conspicuity.

For specific steps on creating a simple meditation practice, check out this site for a simple meditation.