Beliefs that serve us well during early phases of our life can become a limiting factor as we move into new situations with different circumstances. This exercise encourages you to look at your beliefs with a fresh perspective and examine their current effectiveness.

My beliefs about _______________________ (select one topic such as money, work, relationships, food, child rearing, trust, etc.)

Begin by entering what beliefs you primary male and female caregivers had around this topic during your childhood. These beliefs were expressed in both messages (“hard work is the key to success”) and actions (working 60+ hours a week).

1. Indicate which beliefs you embraced from each parent by circling each adopted belief and pointing it into your column.
2. Add to your column any additional beliefs around this topic that you have developed since childhood.

Exploration:

How do my beliefs serve me well today?

How do my beliefs hold me back today?

Which belief would I change if I could?

What would I change it to?

Action Plan:

Your beliefs are a choice. It is easier to resist changing them than to take steps towards rewriting your beliefs. Embrace your resistance and be kind to it; these beliefs served you well at some point in your life. Jot down your feelings of resistance to change to this particular belief:

List three points of action that you can take to initiate replacing this belief with your desired belief.

Action 1:

Action 2:

Action 3:

Be patient! Some deeply planted beliefs are slow to change. Just doing this exercise will get you on the path of questioning this belief and recognizing when it is holding you back.

To help you, below is an example of an individual that may be struggling with a decision to become a writer.

My beliefs about writing as a career:

Exploration:

How do my beliefs serve me well today?
They don’t serve me!

How do my beliefs hold me back today?
They keep me from executing on my dream

Which belief would I change if I could?
I would change – I can’t do it…

What would I change it to?
I can do it. I am a writer.

Action Plan:

Your beliefs are a choice. It is easier to resist changing them than to take steps towards rewriting your beliefs. Embrace your resistance and be kind to it; these beliefs served you well at some point in your life. Jot down your feelings of resistance to change to this particular belief:
I don’t want to embrace my resistance. These ideas do not serve me well now – they did when I was a child/younger and relied upon my parents for my wellbeing – that is no longer true .. And I’m fully confident that my “new” ideas – would be accepted – if not embraced by my parents.In the end, I think they would admire me for having the courage to become a writer and actually making a living at it --- that said, I know they will always “say things” which will show their “true” colors and their beliefs will continue to wash over me --

List three points of action that you can take to initiate replacing this belief with your desired belief.

1. Let them go – realize they are my parents beliefs and I am free to re-write them to serve my purposes now in my life – it’s critical to remind myself that my parents no longer are “responsible” for me …. And I do not need to live to please them.
2. Use them as a means of motivating – I CAN make a living as a writer… and I will begin to get closer to the writing “business” by taking a part-time job and writing as my other “JOB”!